These Days
by fadedrobin
Summary: This is an adaptation of Twilight, I used the characters as inspiration for this story. Bella, Sophia, and Jake have been best friends since they were kids. But with their senior year approaching, they find themselves exploring unknown territory. Tons of parties, angst, friendly tension, fights, love, and lemons. Read and review.
1. Chapter 1

These days, I've resigned to the fact that I do not handle change well. I like to pretend that I do, I like to pretend that I'm spontaneous and easy-going, but in reality, I'm pretty predictable. I find myself falling into habits and seeking comfort in the familiar. But to be fair, not many people do handle change well. I can honestly, only think of one person, off the top of my head that embraces change, and that would be Sophia.

Sophia's actually a great place to start- let's talk about her for a second.

For starters, Sophia is beautiful; she has long black hair, light green eyes, and olive skin.

When you see us together, it's like two ends of the spectrum- Sophia looks like Princess Jasmine from _Aladdin_ and I look like the poster girl for Wonder Bread or some other generic brand.

It's not that I am not pretty. It's just that, I wish looked more interesting, more exotic, or something.

Sophia attracts guys with ponytails, motorcycles, and tattoos- every guy that goes for me usually wears a polo sweater or played lacrosse at some point in his life.

I am constantly trying to make myself look more interesting, which is probably why I've dyed my hair so many times. My hair is long as well, a curly combination of dark brown with just a hint of red (probably leftover from the different shades of red dye I've used).

I've got dark brown eyes and really pale skin, which has always been a point of frustration for me.

When everyone else tans at the beach, I'm stuck applying suntan lotion every 30 minutes. If I don't, I pay the price by turning to into a lovely shade of lobster.

But, I've talked about myself too much- let's get back to Sophia. Sophia is an amazing listener. She could get anyone to spill their secrets, but what's even better, she never judges.

She is one of the most non-judgmental people I have ever met, and that is something that not many people can offer.

Sophia and I met when we were in middle school, we were lab partners in Geology and on the first day, I turned to her and I said, "Do you shave your legs? "

We were only 13 years old at the time, but we have been friends ever since. We have grown up together, and she knows pretty much everything about me.

But, I'd be lying if I said that it has just been the two of us- because it hasn't, who really made us closer then ever was Jake.


	2. Chapter 2

Jake is who balances us out; we used to joke and say that we all make up three very different points of a triangle. It's true though, we're all very different, but together, it works.

We have been there for each other, and I hope we always will. Jake and I were the first to meet; in fact, we used to be playground rivals.

I am sure it's not a stretch of the imagination to see me as a tomboy when I was growing up. Well in case it is, I will have you know that I was a huge tomboy. I was even the appointed 'leader' of a kickball team at our elementary school.

I have to tell you, my team was the best, we were called the Stone Rockets (who knows where that name came from) and we had one rival, the Bullet Dodgers. Jake was the leader of the Bullet Dodgers and our feud ran deep.

Our teams were enemies all through 2nd and 3rd grade. All though after 3rd grade, we all seemed to lose interest, and Jake went off to probably play with firecrackers or something and I began to shed my tomboy ways by taking an interest in braiding hair and gossiping about boys (don't judge, it was 4th grade!).

Jake and I didn't talk again, until about 6th grade when he decided it would be a good idea to put a stink bomb in his friend's locker as a prank, except he bombed the wrong locker and all my school books smelled like ass for a week.

I still laugh thinking about how mad I was, I mean getting your locker bombed in the 6th grade was a big deal- I was beyond embarrassed. I remember storming into the cafeteria and stomping over to Jake's table, which was all boys, and screaming, "Why would you do that to my locker, you idiot, I barely even know you!"

The confused look on his face was priceless, his goofy ears slowing turning red at the tips. I got my revenge though, he was in detention for two weeks, he had to clean my whole locker, buy me a new set of books, and more importantly everyone knew that I had embarrassed the shit out of him.

After the whole stink bomb incident, Jake was just always around somehow. He was teasing me in class, hanging out by my locker, or stopping by my lunch table in the cafeteria. I am not sure when it happened, but eventually boys and girls got over their awkwardness towards each other and my friends and his friends all blended together.

Jake was always attractive, and from what I can tell, he has always known it. As he's gotten older, he's filled out his tall frame and perfected that whole misunderstood, brooding boy with a heart of gold look. He has dark black curly hair that he likes to keep long, blue eyes, and a kind of light cocoa skin.

Though I mock him endlessly about this, he always wears the same thing- some kind of t-shirt and jeans, nothing ever too flashy. At most he'll mix it up with a long sleeve shirt, jeans, and a jacket. But, I guess he's not suffering in the girl department, so what does it really matter.

To say that there was never any chemistry or tension between Jake and me would be a lie. I am not one of those girls that will sit here and tell you, 'what, no, no, no, Jake? Are you crazy?!'

No, that's not me. I have always been brutally honest, sometimes to a fault. Jake and I are complicated, but we have never really crossed a line with our relationship. It's almost like we mean too much to each other that throwing sex into the mix would just be too much for either of us to handle.

I remember the first time that we kissed- it was 10th grade and we had all been at a party earlier in the night. Jake, Sophia, and I had a habit of walking each other home, especially if it was late at night. So, on the way to Sophia's house, we stopped in a park to smoke a joint before dropping Sophia off.

_Sophia and I were swinging on the swing set while Jake was leaning against the frame and we were attempting to drunkenly pass the joint back and forth between us. _

_Sophia decided she needed to pee, and ran off to find a hidden spot in the park. _

_I slowed my swing down as I passed Jake the joint, he takes it from me and says, "Have you ever shotgunned a joint before? "_

_"I have no idea what that means,"_

_He laughed lightly and took a big pull from the joint and walked over to me. _

_I remember not knowing what to expect, and I was a little taken aback when he placed both his hands over mine on either side of the swing's chains. _

_Before I could say anything, he slowly leaned in to blow the smoke into my mouth. _

_I remember thinking, how tan he had gotten that summer, and how it really made his blue eyes standout. _

_As I inhaled, he moved his head back slightly and a smile spread across his lips. _

_It was the first time I realized how full his lips were, and how they were probably a bit too big for his face. _

_After I exhaled, I realized that his hands were still on top of mine and he was looking down at me with a strange look in his eyes. _

_I stared back at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking when his eyes glanced down to my lips. _

_Before I could even try to understand his actions, he tilted his head down, and lightly brushed his lips against mine. _

_At first, my knee-jerk response was to move away, but the night's beer and weed prompted me to just go with the moment._

_So, I did. Slowly, he pressed his lips more firmly against mine and I felt his tongue graze across the opening of my mouth. _

_I take the hint, and open my mouth to let his tongue inside. As soon as I do, a lot of things flashed through my mind. _

_I remember mostly being surprised- surprised by how good it felt, by how good of a kisser Jake was, and at how much I enjoyed how he tasted- a mix of weed, beer, and something else that I just couldn't figure out. _

_Slowly, I began to react, and I return his kiss- allowing our tongues to dance around each other. He had let go of my hands and he had them tangled within my curly hair. _

_As he started to pull me even closer to him, I remember smelling the very familiar scent of Jake, and I let a small moan through my mouth. _

_As soon as I did, I could feel a small smile play across his lips. Suddenly, I hear Sophia yell, "What the fuck?" from behind me. _

_The moment was dead. Jake immediately jumped away from me, the warmth from his body was gone, and I instinctively stood up from the swing. _

_Whatever happened between us was over, but the energy was still in the air. I knew I should have felt embarrassed, but all I could think, this must be how it feels to get caught having sex in public places. _

_I shook my head of the thought, and began to stare a hole into the ground, as an awkward silence began to descend. _

_After what seemed like a lifetime, Jake decided to speak first, "Clearly, we have all had a bit too much fun tonight, let's just go home." _

_I looked over at him, trying to read his face. But, he had put a solid 20ft between us, and between the distance and the dark night, it was really hard to see his eyes. _

_So I decided to make the decision myself. This would be a drunken mistake, never to be repeated- nothing more. _

_I force a light-hearted laugh, and say, "Agreed." _

_I just remember Sophia looking back and forth between us. "What is going on between the two of you?"_

_"Nothing!" Jake replied, holding his hands up, as if he was surrendering to the cops._

_"Bella, is that true?" she said to me._

_"Soph, there's nothing going on, we're both wasted and stoned, it was nothing. It will never happen again, you can relax now," I said to her, as I glanced over towards Jake for reassurance._

_At this point he had taken a few steps closer to me, and I could finally see his face in dim light of a streetlamp. _

_His eyes bore into mine, faltering only slightly, when they fell on my lips. _

_But it doesn't last, and whatever he was thinking is quickly gone- I see his expression shift and I know Jake is back to his old self. _

_"Scout's honor," he replies, while motioning the sign of the cross. _

_Sophia rolled her eyes at him, "You're such an idiot"_

_I see relief spread across her face as she realized that this was the result of two wasted fools and nothing more. _

_Later that night, when it was just Jake and I in front of my house, I decided that we should probably talk about what happened. I realized along the walk that our friendship was way more important to me, and that neither of us was really ready for any kind of commitment. _

_So, I decided to try and make it the least awkward conversation of all time, and just get it over with, "Hey about before…" _

_But, before I could even get a word in, Jake replied, "Yeah, sorry, that was my fault, too much to drink…it won't happen again." _

_As I let out a sigh of relief we both just looked at each other and laughed, and I knew whatever awkwardness between us was gone. _

_As I turned to leave, he let out a light laugh and said, "You are one hell of a kisser though, so I can't make any promises." _

_It was there that I realized, that if there was one thing that I loved about Jake, it was how at ease he was with himself, and how he could make anyone comfortable, even in the most uncomfortable situations. _

Again, I know how that story sounds, and I could probably guess what you're thinking, probably something like, '_how romantic'_, 'they are meant to be', blah blah blah.

Before you get attached to the idea of Bella and Jake forever, you need to get to know Jake a bit better.

First off, like I said in the beginning, Jake is attractive, but he is very aware of his power over women. He has had his fair pick of girls from the day he came to our school, and from what I can tell, it's not going to be any different once he graduates.

Whatever chemistry there may be between us, definitely has not kept him from having fun.

So, don't think for one minute that Jake is sitting up in his room pining over me or at a party stealing glances at me from across the room.

No, Jake is not the romantic type and this is not a Nicholas Sparks novel.

This is my story, my life- it is full of the good and the bad. I cannot promise that you won't hate me at times, but just remember that I am human, just like the rest of you and Bella Swan is far from perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Now let's get back to the present, it is currently the summer before our senior year of high school (the 4th of July, to be exact) and our friend, Luke is throwing his annual party. Luke's 4th of July parties are generally pretty epic, and since it's the summer before our senior year, I expect this one to be no different.

I have started dating this guy, Max, from our senior class and for the past 3 weeks, I have been fully entertained. Have no fear- I will not start gushing over Max. To start, he is a lacrosse player, who wears polo shirts- so, let's just say, I don't expect to fall head over heels anytime soon. But, Max is hot, he's fun, and an amazing kisser- more importantly, it's the summer!

Sophia on the other hand, had actually found love in a hopeless place a.k.a _the mall_. No joke, she was at the Apple store when she _literally_ ran into Aiden and fell to the floor. It was like a scene from a Rachel McAdams film, he helped her up, took her for an apology coffee, and they've been together ever since. The two are inseparable. I have the mental scars to prove it.

Jake was still hooking up with the lovely and forever voluptuous Helen Stevens, who was constantly thinking of ways that Jake could cheap on her. She was constantly suspicious and it made the lives of Jake's two girl best friends miserable. But, Jake never seemed to care too much about how angry she was or what story she was creating in her mind, so it was really just Helen's burden to carry.

Now that you are caught up on our lives at this moment in time, let's just dive right into the party.

"You know, you smell delicious" Max whispers into my ear, it tickles a bit and I laugh as I pull away slightly. We are all sitting around the table playing a game of kings before more people show up for the party tonight.

It's a group of about 12 of us around this table, and I decide to sit on Max's lap to let one more person join in the fun. Sophia is to my right and her and her boyfriend can't seem to stop whispering into each other's ears, "Awww young love" I say mockingly as I playfully pinch Sophia's shoulder.

I laugh as I look across the round table at Jake, who shoots me a smile and looks down at the circle of cards left for him to pick off the beer can.

He chooses an 8, which invokes the rule, 'pick a mate'. He looks around the room, jokingly rubbing his chin, his eyes land on me briefly, before he shifts his gaze to Max and says, "You and me, man,"

"Seriously?" Max retorts and begrudgingly picks up his beer.

They both drink for 8 seconds.

Our game of kings begins to fall apart as more people show up to the pool house, and it starts to get so packed that we all begin to spill out onto the patio.

Jake calls me over to play a game of beer pong with him, together, we have always dominated beer pong and I wasn't about to turn down an offer to destroy yet again.

After we win about 3 games in a row, I begin to feel pretty drunk, and I lean into Jake and say, "OK, I'm out of here, I've gotta go chill with Max".

Jake puts his arm around me and whispers, "You know you don't want to leave, just play with me instead."

I shrug him off and laugh, "Go find Helen, she'll play with you" and I walk away to find Max.

I see Max talking with some friends by the edge of the pool and I go over to stand next to him and I put my arms around his waist when I feel him begin to pull my arms off him.

I look up at him and say, "What's wrong?"

He angrily says, "Why don't you go ask Jake for a hug"

I look up at him confused, "What are you talking about?"

At this point everyone in the circle is looking at us, and I decide to pull Max away, "Come talk to me"

"I saw you two together, everyone saw you two. If you guys are sleeping together, just tell me"

I look at him, completely stunned, "Max, no, were not together, why would you think that? We're just friends, we've always been just friends."

"I am sorry but I don't know any girls that are just my friends"

"Well, that's good to know, next time I see you with a girl, I'll assume you're sleeping with her then"

"That's not my point, I see you guys together, you tease each other, it's like watching some drawn out foreplay, it's always been like that with you two and I knew that when I was getting involved with you, but fuck, to see it now, it just pisses me the fuck off"

"What do you mean it's always been like that with us? We've always just been friends. I mean, you're one of Jake's friends, you should know that"

"Yeah, I know"

"So then you have nothing to worry about", I say as I pull him down into a lawn chair by the edge of the pool.

He sits down with me and as I lean back into the chair I pull the collar of his shirt with me. As I place a kiss on his lips, I pull him into me. I know deep down that he cares about me more then I care about him, but someone told me once that a girl should always be with a man that loves her more then she loves him.

I continue to kiss him with more passion then before, and our tongues dance around each other and I feel him moan slightly as I open up my legs and let him hover over me in the lawn chair. I can feel his arousal through his jeans and he starts to grind against me, making me feel sexy for having such power over someone.

I bite down lightly on his lower lip and slowly pull it into my mouth, and he lets out a slight moan, as I smile and go in for another kiss.

Suddenly, I hear whistles and cheers, and we stop making out and look up to see that everyone in the party was watching us.

Beyond embarrassed, we let out a laugh, untangle ourselves from the lawn chair and take a bow. As we walk back over towards the pool house, we hear someone yell, "Hey Peter, you better have your mom hose down that lawn chair!"

So, note to self, dry humping your boyfriend in public, may not be the best of ideas. I lean into Max to tell him that I am going into the main house to get another beer, give him a quick peck on the mouth and walk inside.

When I am inside, I open the fridge and think to myself, _well damn, I hope Peter's parents come back soon, otherwise the poor boy may starve_.

I grab another Heineken and close the fridge, as I turn to leave, I hear the patio kitchen door open and close.

I look up to see Jake leaning against the kitchen counter across from me. "What's up? You want another beer?" I ask him.

"No, I don't want another beer and I don't think you should either" he says with an angry look on his face.

"Umm I'm fine, but if you're not, that's cool"

"Oh you're fine? You looked more then fine out there with Max"

"Oh, yeah I didn't realize anyone would be watching us" I say with a laugh.

"So, it's ok to be going around acting like a slut as long as no one is watching?" he spits back.

"I wasn't acting like a slut Jake," I say with an angry tone, as I start to get more pissed off by his words.

"Actually I think you acting just like every other girl in this place", Jake says as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"So every girl in this place is a slut now? I mean shit, Jake, you hooked up with just about all of them, you should know," I yell back.

"Oh so it's my fault then?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I hooked up with other girls, so it makes it ok for you to act like that?"

"That's not what I am saying at all! What the fuck Jake… does it bother you or something? Does it bother you to see me with Max, because if it does then just say something." I scream at him, as I take a step closer to him, I feel the blood rushing through me as my anger intensifies.

"Oh course it fucking bothers me, do you think I want to see that shit Bella?" he yells back at me, pushing against the counter and standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"Why, Jake? Just tell me why it bothers you so much see me with someone…are you, are you jealous?"

I see a look of panic fly across his face, his jawline clenches, and then I see his expression stiffen.

He slowly walks over to where I am standing on the other side of the kitchen. I take a step back into the counter, and he places his hands on counter edge on either side of my hips.

He takes a step closer to me and slowly pushes his knee between my legs, making us as close as possible, and leans down to whisper into my ear, "No, I am not jealous you can be with whoever you want, I just don't want you to do something you're going to regret."

I can feel his breath against my neck, and it sends chills up my back. I feel my heart race as he slowly lowers his lips to my neck and I can feel him lightly place kisses across my skin.

"We haven't slept together" I whisper back to him and I can feel his lips smile into my neck as he pushes against the counter again and steps back from me.

I can't help but feel the coolness of his absence and the heat that was beginning to rush through me is beginning to fade.

I can tell that he is breathing a bit heavier then normal and that he wasn't doing this just to tease me, no he got pleasure out of turning me on.

By now the lust is beginning to fade and anger begins to set in, and I say, "What are you doing Jake? What is this?"

I see his smile drop and he looks down to the ground, "I don't know"

"Your fucking Helen aren't you?"

He puts his hands in his jean pockets and looks up at me, and gives a quick nod 'yes'.

"Then why the hell would you ever think you could tell me who and who not to sleep with?"

"I'm sorry. I know, you're right, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's just I'm not used to seeing you like that, it just bothered me."

"I don't care! I am with Max and if I choose to sleep with him, it's my choice, just like you choose to sleep with Helen. Unless there's something I'm missing, is there something I'm missing?"

"Not at all. You're right. I'm sorry."

We stand there in silence. I was so angry at him- angry that he ever felt like he could talk to me like that, and even more angry at myself for allowing his touch to affect me so much.

He pulls his hands out of his pockets and looks up trying to fake cheeriness, "Bella, I'll make it up to you, I promise. Now how about that drink then, eh?"

I laugh and look at him, at least he admits when he's wrong. I'll just have to deal with the rest.

The rest of the night was pretty standard. Max and I played some beer pong (and lost), some people decided to skinny dip into the pool around 4am, Sophia and Dave got into a fight around 2am and left, only to return around 3am and run off behind the pool house to make up.

Around 4:30am everyone pretty much piled into the pool house and claimed a spot wherever was free.

But I couldn't sleep. The poolhouse was too hot, and I couldn't get Jake's words out of my head. When I saw the sky getting lighter outside, I knew the sun was about to come up, and I decided that I needed some air.

I got up and went outside. It was a cool, crisp summer morning. The morning dew was frosted across the grass.

I sat down in a lawn chair by the pool and pulled my knees into my chest and looked across the pool at the sliver of sun that started to appear on the horizon.

Suddenly I heard a creak and saw a shirtless, sleepy looking Jake step out onto the patio. _Fuck_, I thought to myself, _why does it have to be him right now? _

He looks over at me and I turn my head back towards the rising sun. He slowly walks over to me and pulls out a joint from behind his ear.

He lights it up and sits down on the lawn chair behind me, leaning into the back of the chair and leaving just enough space between us on the chair that if I leaned back, I would be resting my head into his chest.

I feel him stretch his legs out on either side of me and I can already feel the warmth radiating off his body and onto mine. I hear him spark the joint and I turn back to face him, he winks at me, takes a rip from the joint, and passes it to me. I take it from him and turn back to face the sun.

This was the epitome of our relationship, he was always there- there when I needed him, and there when I didn't think I needed him at all.

I take a few rips and turn to pass it to him, and I feel him wrap an arm around my waist and pull me into his chest.

I don't stop him, he feels warm against my skin as we lay there, watching the sunrise, smoking, and enjoying each other's silence.


	4. Chapter 4

The day after the party, Luke's parents came back from vacation. They were only a day early, but that day made all the difference.

Not only did his parents find mountains of empty beer cans, miscellaneous bathing suit pieces, cigarette butts, and empty solo cups, but they also found Luke smoking a joint in their living room.

Suffice to say, we were banned from Luke's house indefinitely (which probably only meant one week).

Not wanting to waste a weekend doing nothing, whole group decided that we were going to let loose in NYC.

We all got tickets to a show at Webster Hall, piled into Jake's car, and headed into the city.

I always love going into the city. It gave us all a reason to dress up and go wild for a night. I had borrowed one of Sophia's tops, and I was ready to dance my ass off.

Before getting out of the car, we all ditched our real I.D's for our fake ones and prepared ourselves for the bouncers. It's funny how we all do certain things to make ourselves look older.

Sophia adjusts her cleavage in her crop top, Luke rearranges his hair, I apply some lipstick and fix my eyeliner, Jake tries to roll up his sleeves, and Matt and his girlfriend, Lauren, just start making out.

"There will be no sex in my car! Unless, of course, it's me," Jake yells back at them.

"Well if we knew that before, we wouldn't have had sex back here before we left for the night," Matt retorts.

Immediately, everyone jumps out of the car, yelling and checking their clothes for mysterious stains.

Lauren playfully smacks Matt's arm, adjust her skirt, and steps out of the backseat, "Relax, he's kidding,"

We all regain our composure and head towards the line to get into the show.

Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long, and we all got into the show without any problems.

"This is going to be a fun night!" Sophia yells to me over the music.

"I hope so," I say as I lean over the bar, hoping to get the bartender's attention.

The one thing I hate about venues in NYC is that they're so crowded. You have to fight your way to the bar, and once you're there it takes a miracle to get anyone's attention.

The girl next to me eyes me as run my hands through my hair and try to make eye contact with the bartender.

"I've been waiting here for like 10 minutes, there's no way you're getting a drink before me,"

I look over at her, roll my eyes, and turn away to try and catch the bartender's eye as he walks by us.

"Hey! Did you hear me? You're not cutting us in line bitch"

I turn back to face her and this time Sophia hears her, and immediately appears by my side.

"Do we have a problem bitch?"

Sophia is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met, but if you piss her off, you're going to want to run- fast.

I can feel my anger boiling over, between this bitch and my need for a drink- I am about to explode.

Suddenly, the girl's friends appear by her side and I realize that we may have made a mistake.

Sophia and I may talk big, but there's no way in hell we can take on four big boobed, blonde bitches. Beside, her and I both know we've never been in a real fight before.

The girl sees our hesitation as we size up her friends and takes the opportunity, "No bitch, I think you're the one with the problem."

_Well, she's not wrong, _I think to myself,_ how the hell are we going to get out of this?_

Suddenly I feel an arm drape around my shoulders, and I look up to see Jake.

"Hey there, can I buy you ladies a drink?"

Suddenly the mood changes, the girls spontaneously break into sickly sweet smiles, and nod their heads.

"Just one drink?" She replies as she places her hand on his chest and does her best to appear sexy.

I know she's trying to tease him, and who know's maybe it's working, because he takes his arm off my shoulders and walks past me towards the bar. The four bimbos of the apocalypse follow close behind.

Sophia and I stand there for a minute, in shock at what we just witnessed.

"Well at least we learned one thing," Sophia says to me.

"What's that?"

"Jake is the perfect distraction for us when we're about to get our asses beat."

"We were, weren't we, I mean shit, we have never been in a fight before,"

Sophia and I suddenly burst into laughter.

"I know I can look tough sometimes Bells, but I was scared shitless back there. I mean, those bitches were scary!"

We both start laughing again, and look over at Jake as he tries to talk to each girl. He looks a bit scared to be honest, as they seem to be surrounding him, as if circling their prey.

"Why don't we skip the drinks, and just go find our friend?" I say to Sophia.

"And leave Jake alone with them? He looks like a scared puppy!"

"He can handle it, you and I both know he's had practice."

"You got to stop being so hard on him Bells, he's just being a guy. Just because he's our friend doesn't mean he doesn't have a dick. Besides, you know how small our school is, plus half those stories are made up,"

"I know, Soph, you're right. I just wish he'd take something seriously for once."

"Oh, like you?" She says to me, doing her best to hold back a laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I say back to her, pretending to be deeply insulted.

"Max? Bells, really? Max? You don't like him, he's not even you're type!"

"I resent that! Max is nice, he's sweet..."

"He's hot, and probably great in bed, but that's about it Bells,"

"Whatever! It's the summer, you're the one who's always telling me to let loose a little. Plus you know we haven't slept together yet...he is hot though, isn't he?"

"Girl, I would be lying if I didn't say I've had dreams about that boy."

We both start giggling like little school girls, as I lightly nudge her with my shoulder.

Somehow, Jake gets free from the bimbos, and hands us both vodka tonics.

"Jesus christ, I thought I would never get away from them,"

"How'd you break free? It looks like you were on lockdown," Sophia says to him as she takes a sip of her drink.

"I told them I had to go to the bathroom. But, I had to promise I'd be back in 5 minutes to buy them another drink. I think one of them even tried to cop a feel. I feel violated."

"I'm sure you loved it," I say to him teasingly.

"I mean every guys loves to be appreciated, but, I think that was more like assault,"

"How'd you get drinks so quickly?" I ask him while squeezing the lime slice into the cup.

"The bartender's gay. You guys couldn't tell? He's only been serving guys all night."

"Ohhhhhh! That makes sense!"

"Plus what the fuck! How about a thank you for saving your ass!" Jake yells at us, as he takes a sip of his beer.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Sophia says as she gives him a hug.

"Yeah, really, who knows what would have happened to us," I say to him with a smile.

He laughs lightly,"You would have both died. Now please, let's get the fuck away from here, I think those girls are going to start to catch on that I'm not coming back,"

As we push our way into the crowd- I feel a rush of excitement, like that feeling you get just before talking to a crush for the first time.

I'm not sure if it's the strong drink or just being out with my friends, but there really is no where else I would want to be in that moment.

Sophia pushes past the people in her way and jumps onto Jake's back. They both laugh as he starts to dance, somehow managing to not spill his beer all over the floor.

I laugh at the sight of my two best friends, and decide to go find the rest of our friends. I see them dancing closer to the stage and I push past the last few people in my way. Eventually Sophia and Jake come to find us, they're both sweaty and out of breathe.

"Why'd you leave us?" Sophia asks me, while trying to fan herself down with her hand.

"Just wanted to find the group, you and Jake are ridiculous"

"Yeah, I love how a girl just walks up to us and starts hitting on Jake. I mean, I'm not his girlfriend, but she doesn't know that! I'm literally on his back, and she doesn't think twice! How does that even happen?"

I just start laughing, "I have no clue, but somehow, I'm not surprised."

The band comes out and everyone starts to cheer, and all I can think is,_ I need to remember this moment_.

After the show is over, we being to file out with the rest of the crowd.

When we get outside everyone is sweaty and drunk off their ass, but it's still early, so we decide to head into a nearby bar.

"The night is still young!" our friend Matt yells over his shoulder, as he leads us across the street to a hipster looking bar called Crocodile Lounge.

We all show our fake ID's and enter the bar.

"A jukebox! Everyone give me a quarter!" Sophia says to the group, and we all reach into our pockets for change.

I turn to her and say, "I will give you this quarter on one condition, please, please, please, play a Rolling Stones song. It is definitely needed tonight." She rolls her eyes at me and says, "You and your old people music,"

I laugh and she heads towards the jukebox to pick out the songs.

Jake walks over to me, and leans in to say, "You want a beer?"

"Sure, I'll come with you" I say.

"Oh yea, sure, no, I don't want a drink!" Matt yells at us, as we walk over to the bar.

"You still owe me 10 bucks!" Jake yells back at him.

"Oh right, forget I said anything then" Matt laughs sheepishly and turns to the rest of the group.

"Do you think we should get Sophia anything?" Jake asks as we try to find a spot at the bar.

I see that the bartender is a guy, and this time, I decided to look more closely, hoping to see if I can tell if he's gay or straight.

I notice him looking down a girl's shirt as she leans forwards to pick up her beers, and I get my answer.

I push past Jake and squeeze in between two girls.

I look back at Jake and say, "What do you want?"

"Just get me a Pilsner, and get whatever you want...hey, I thought I was buying"

"You are, but I'm better at ordering then you" I say back at him.

"You're just saying that because the bartender's a dude and you're a hot girl", he says back at me.

I pretend to be surprised and say, "Did you just call me hot?"

Jake laughs at me and says, "Shut up and order Bells"

I turn away from him and lean into the bar to tell the bartender our order. I order the beers and I turn to tell Jake how much he owes, "It's 22 bucks," I yell back at him.

He moves closer to me to hear what I said, "It's 22 bucks" I say again, but softer.

This time he's standing right behind me, and I can feel his hand brush against my jeans as he reaches into his back pocket to pull out his wallet.

He leans over me to give the bartender the money, "Just keep the change."

I can feel him press into my back as he reaches over to pick up the beers from the bar.

I smell just a hint of cologne, which is usually something he never wears, but it smells amazing on him.

I can't help but enjoy the feeling of having him standing behind me, so I decide to have some fun, and I casually lean into him and press my ass against his jeans.

I try to play it off like it was just an accident and I turn to face him, I bite my lower lip, and try to fight back a smile, "Wanna head back?"

He narrows his eyes for a second, his eyes glance down at my lips and I begin to see a smile spread across his lips as he nods his head 'yes' and takes a sip from his beer.

I smile up at him through my eyelashes, trying to be as coy as possible and head back over to our friends.

_What are you doing? Are you insane?_ is all I keep thinking as I walk back over to our group. But, I can't stop thinking about his body pressed against mine or the smell of his cologne. My mind quickly fantasizes about what it would feel like to rip open his shirt and run my hands down his chest.

_What the fuck! STOP!_ I immediately shake my head, and try to banish those thoughts from my mind. _Maybe it's time I stop drinking, clearly I've had too much. _

I turn back to see if Jake's following me, and I catch him checking out my ass.

He realizes that I turned back, and we make eye contact briefly, he quickly looks away and I turn to keep walking towards our friends.

I try my best to fight back a small smile that creeps across my face, _I am human __after all_.

The rest of the night was pretty amazing, we were able to bar hop around the East village all night long.

Around 4am, our beer buzz was wearing off, and all we wanted to do was pass out.

So, we piled into Jake's old beat-up Volvo station wagon and headed home.

The fact that Jake was our driver scared the shit out of me, but he assured us all that he had, "Stopped drinking hours ago, like a mature responsible adult", which we all knew was a lie.

Since I had actually switched to water around 1am, _due to some very inappropriate fantasies about a tall, dark, and handsome man that lifts me up on the bar, rips open my shirt and...JESUS CHRIST_!

Moral to the story: I was sober.

So, I decided to drive us home.

After we all squeezed into Jake's car, and chose a good playlist off someone's phone, everyone pretty much quieted it down.

The only people awake seemed to be Matt and his girlfriend, Lauren (who were really just feeling each other up in the backseat), Jake and me.

Since I was driving, Jake decided to take shotgun.

"What are you thinking?" I ask him as we merge onto 95 N towards Albany.

"Nothing, tonight was pretty fun," he says while looking out the window at the passing traffic.

"Yeah, I had a good time" I say back to him.

"Where was Max tonight?" He asks, looking over at me this time.

"Didn't want to come, not really his scene, you should know though, he's your friend too" I say back to him.

He gives a short laugh and says, "Yeah, I guess he is- I just figured since you were going, he'd show up"

"Well where was Helen tonight?" I ask back at him, getting a bit defensive.

"Umm, not really sure, we've kind of taken a break" he says, looking back out the window.

"What? Why didn't you tell us?" I ask him.

"Eh, not much to tell…it kind of just stopped working. I also realized that she was way more into me then I was into her"

"No shit, Jake. She was obsessed with you." I spit back at him.

"What does it matter, didn't you guys hate her?" He fires back at me.

"Yeah, I guess, I just feel bad" I say, as I switch lanes on the highway.

"You're so weird" he laughs at me and shakes his head from side to side.

"So, what's next on your list?" He asks me as I take the exit for our town.

"What list? " I ask him, confused.

"You and Sophia are going through a list of shit you want to do before heading to college right? Sophia told me. I mean I'm just pissed you guys didn't include me."

I laugh, "Well it's not anything official really..."

"Hmmm, I get it…ok well I want to add something" He says as he rolls down the window and a burst of cool night air comes across the back of my neck.

"What's that?" I say back at him.

"Let's all go skinny dipping at Blackhaven beach" he says back at me.

I laugh and say, "Ummm ok, when?"

"Right now, tonight"

"Like right, right now?" I say looking over at him.

"Fuck yes" He says looking back at me.

I laugh and say, "Ok, sure, let's go"

We drive past our town and turn off onto the Blackhaven beach parking lot. As soon as I park the car, Jake turns to everyone passed out in the back seat and says, "Get up, get up, get up, we're going for a swim!"

Everyone is groaning and mumbling something along the lines of "Fuck off" or "take me home!"

Jake doesn't take no for an answer and gets out of the front seat and tries to squeeze himself into the backseat with everyone to try and push them outside.

"Not taking no for an answer, don't be pussies, let's go, we're going skinny dipping. It's 4:30 in the morning, no one is here, we've got the whole beach to ourselves!" He yells to everyone in the backseat.

I mean it's a little hard to ignore someone when they're either sitting on top of you or screaming in your face, so everyone climbs out of the car.

Now that everyone was up, we all walked down to the beach. It is such a beautiful night. The full moon is reflecting off the water, making everything a light shade of blue.

It was one of those nights, where the air is warm, and it just feels like summer.

We all stood there looking out across the water.

"Definitely worth getting out of the car," Matt says, looking over at Jake.

Jake shot him a quick smile and turned to us, "Ok, I told Bella that one of my wishes before graduation was for all of us to go skinny dipping tonight. Now, you don't have to strip down to your birthday suit, but we all have to jump in,"

"I'm down" Sophia says as she takes off her shirt.

Jake whistles at her and begins to take off his own shirt.

Matt and his girlfriend start to do the same.

I look over at Luke and we both realize we're the only two not stripping down, we shrug at each other, and start to undress.

As I bent down to untie my shoes, I start to think, _this will be the first time Jake sees me in my underwear_.

I mean he's seen me in a bathing suit before, so I guess it's the same, this just seems more…intimate.

_Why am I even worrying about this?_

I shake my head and take off my shoes. I look over at Jake as he pulls his jeans off, I notice a small hole in the ass of his boxers.

"Jake, did you know you have a hole in the ass of your underwear?"

He looks down to try and find the hole, "Hmm, no I never looked that closely, but I am glad to see you are"

He says, laughing at me.

I feel my face blush slightly.

"Oh you caught me, I have dreams about seeing your right ass cheek. It's amazing that I sleep at all,"

Sophia laughs at the both of us, and swiftly pulls off her jeans.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were stalling here Bella," she says in my direction.

I glare at her, and swiftly pull my shirt over my head and throw it to the sand. Looking around, I realize that I am the only one still in my clothes.

I start to unbutton my jeans, when I look up, I catch Jake's eye, but he quickly looks towards the water and says, "Hurry the fuck up Bells,"

I smirk as I pull off my jeans, and just thank God that I am not wearing any granny panties.

"So, on the count of three, we all run in?" Luke says to us, as we all turn to face the water.

"One"

"Two"

"Three"

And we all take off towards the water screaming. My feet touch the ice-cold water and I pause for just a second before feeling Jake's arms pick me up and throw me over his shoulder.

I start screaming as he carries me into the black, icy water.

I come up for hair and I hear the screams of everyone around me.

"Fuck it's cold!" Matt yells at the top of his lungs, as Lauren comes to the surface screaming "Shit!"

I see Jake pop his head up in front of me, "Holy shit this was a bad idea!" he yells to everyone.

"I'm getting out!" Sophia yells back.

We all run over to our clothes, gather them up as fast as we can, and sprint towards the car.

I unlock the doors and hop in to turn on the heat as fast as I can.

We all sit there in silence, in our soaked underwear trying to get warm for about 5 minutes. Finally the car starts to heat up and we all just burst out laughing.


	5. Chapter 5

"Max we've been over this a hundred times, Jake and I are just friends," I say ask I look over at Max in the passenger seat of my car.

We have been fighting none stop for the past week, and my "summer fling" has now officially become a summer disaster.

"Just friends, fine, ok, you're just friends. But then why does your friend take priority over me?"

"Max, Jake needs a ride to the party, I said I'd pick him up, I don't see what the big deal is?"

"The big deal is that it was supposed to just be you and me. I don't even want to go to this fucking party!"

"But I told everyone I was already going, I can't just not show up."

"Yes, you can. You can do whatever you want to do. Unless, hanging out with me is not something you want to do."

"Jesus! It's like we have the same fight over and over again. It's like a broken record," I say as I slam my hands against the steering wheel in frustration.

"You're right, we do, and there's only one way to make it stop"

"Oh really, what's that then?"

"Tell me you love me, tell me that even though we are in a bad place, that you want to be with me. Because, Bella, I want to be with you all the time. When we're not together I'm miserable…I…I love you"

I just looked at him completely stunned by his words, but I knew, I knew I couldn't say that I loved him- it would only be a lie.

So, I looked away, and let the tears start to pool in my eyes as I looked back at him and said, "Max I can't, it doesn't mean I don't care about you, I just can't say those words to you,"

He bit his lip as he turned away from me and looked out the window. I see his jaw clench.

He turns back to face me, "Do you think you could ever say those words to me?"

"I don't know, maybe? I just can't promise you something like that, it wouldn't be fair to you…it's not something you can force," I plead, trying to make him understand.

I have never told anyone outside of my family that I loved them, and I don't plan on saying it until I know it's true.

You can't fake love.

He took his time before he spoke and his voice was cold when he said, "Fine, then we're done." He opened the car door and got out.

Leaving me completely taken aback. I watched him as he walked away from the car and walked down the street.

I didn't know what to feel. Hurt? Upset? Angry?

I mean, I did just get dumped. I leaned my head back against the headrest, and closed my eyes.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, but eventually I feel vibrating from my jacket pocket.

I take out my phone and answer it, "Hi Soph,"

"Wow, you sound miserable. What's wrong?"

"Max just dumped me"

"What!? Why? What happened?"

"He told me he loved me and I couldn't say it back. I mean we've been dating for less then two months, how can you fall in love with someone that fast!"

"Well, when you know, you know, I guess…wow, so I'm guessing you don't want to come to the party then, huh?"

"Not really in the mood. I think I may just drive around for a bit, I'll let you know if I change my mind"

"Sounds good, do you want me to come?"

"No, don't worry about it. I'd rather be alone, I need to think"

"I get it. Call me if you need me though. Sometimes being alone is overrated." Sophia replies.

I'm just about to hang up when I remember I was supposed to pick up Jake.

"Oh shit, Soph?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you pick up Jake, I was supposed to give him a ride to the party."

"Ughhh that bum, sure, I'll get him- don't worry"

"Thanks" I mumble, and end the call.

Hours later, I park my car and get out. I didn't even mean to drive to the beach- I just sort of ended up here.

It was still early in the night, and there were people walking along the boardwalk. I waited until there was no one around and hopped over the fence onto the sand.

After sundown the beach is closed to the public, but no one ever seems to care.

I take off my sandals and walk across the cool sand. I liked coming here at night, it was quiet, the breeze always felt nice against the muggy heat of the summer.

I find a spot in the sand and pull a joint out of my pocket and spark it.

I am not a huge smoker, I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me…but, tonight I definitely need it.

It's not that I am sad Max dumped me, I mean I couldn't say I loved him after all. No, it's not Max that has me so confused.

It's really just the feeling of not being in love with anyone. I never have been. I have never felt that soul crushing love that people my age should feel.

I mean teenagers are supposed to be all about soulmates, and professing undying love for each other. Shit, Sophia even found love.

I have just never met someone that I cared about that deeply.

Maybe I will one day, but so far, I've only ever been in relationships where the other person cares more about me then I do them.

Maybe it's a self-preservation thing? Maybe it's not, but I definitely think it may be a problem.

I finish the joint and lay back into the sand. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the waves crashing, and feel the breeze gently float across my skin.

"Hey" I hear someone say from behind me on the beach.

I sit up suddenly, and glance over my shoulder to see Jake standing behind me.

"You scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here?" I say to him, looking back towards the water.

"Sophia told me about what happened, I figured you either went here or home. I came here first."

I let out a stiff laugh, "Lucky guess"

He takes a seat next to me on the sand, resting his elbows on top of his knees.

"I don't want to talk about it Jake"

"**You** don't want to talk? Shit, this must be serious. Should I go beat him up?" he says, as he starts makes a gesture to get up.

"Ha-Ha," I reply as tug on the bottom of shirt to pull him back down into the sand.

He laughs lightly and sits back down.

I look down at the sand between my toes. "He said he loved me," I say as I glace in Jake's direction.

He is staring out at the sea, watching the waves crash into the shore. I see him rub his hand across his face and slowly scratch the stubble that was starting to show on his jawline.

"Hmm, well do you love him back?" he asks glancing over at me.

"No, I don't. I couldn't say it back. I didn't want to lie to him."

He doesn't say anything, and I look at his face to try and figure out what he was thinking.

But he doesn't turn to face me, he just continues to watch the waves as they crash and come surging across the sand.

I study his profile. I notice that he looks more tired then normal, some dark circles have started to form under his eyes. _Too much partying_, I think to myself.

Suddenly, he turns to face me. His eyes catch the dim light of a street lamp and I feel the intensity of his stare, "Good," he replies.

"Good?" I say back to him, confused.

"Good" he repeats, softer this time, he leans in closer to my face and before I can react, his lips crash against mine.

The memories of our first kiss come flooding over me. I feel his tongue brush against my lips. I open my mouth up to him, letting his taste wash over me.

I feel his hands tangle themselves in my hair, as he pulls me closer to him. I sit up on my knees and wrap my arms around his neck.

His hands move from my hair to my waist and he pulls me down into the sand with him.

At moment, the only thing I want is to be closer to him. I want to feel every inch of his body on mine.

His tongue traces every inch of my mouth as I move to straddle him in the sand. I can feel his arousal pressing against me through his jeans and I begin to play with the friction between us.

As I start to rock my hips back and forth, he lets out a deep moan from inside my mouth.

I feel a small smile spread across my lips as I try to repeat my movements. Jake moves his hands from my waist down to my ass and I feel him press me closer into him.

His hands tighten around my ass, as he deepens our kiss. I start to feel heat gather between my legs, and a familiar feeling from the pit of my stomach.

It goes from being a cool summer night to being hot.

It's so hot that the thought of clothes seems ridiculous. I can't seem to get enough of him as he lightly bites down on my bottom lip.

He moves his mouth away from mine, and pushes off the sand to sit us up. I am still straddling him as we sit up in the sand.

We pause for a second, to catch our breath.

My face feels raw from rubbing against his stubble and my lips are swollen. But all I want is more.

I think about how stupid it was to wait this long to kiss Jake again, _I mean nothing that feels this good could be so bad, right?_

I try to look into his eyes, but he has already begun to suck on my neck, pulling the skin just below my ear into his mouth.

I feel his tongue trace a path across the sensitive skin just above my collarbone and my legs tighten around his hips.

I let a low moan release from my lips and my mouth curves into a smile, at the feeling of having him between my thighs.

Jake moves his mouth form my neck back over to my mouth. But this time, I'm the one to push us back down into the sand.

I had never felt so sexy. It was like someone had taken over my body. I was no longer Bella Swan- I was someone else. Someone who knows how to tease a man, someone who takes control.

Jake's hands move to the bottom of my shirt and start to explore my lower back. He runs his fingers over my skin and I feel a chill run up my back.

I start to mirror his movements and place my hands under this shirt and run my fingers along his abs.

I have the sudden urge to pull off his shirt so that I can have better access, so I grab hold of the fabric and start to pull it up over his head.

Our mouths break apart as he leans forward and helps me to rip it off- throwing it to the sand.

I smile as I look at his naked chest. I can't help but notice how sexy his looks. His skin is a warm shade of brown and his curly hair was wild and full of sand.

_You're so pretty_, I think to myself and a small smile plays across my lips. He sees my expression and he smiles back.

His hands move to the bottom of my shirt and I lift my arms up, as if to signal him to take it off.

He takes the hint and slowly pulls the shirt above my head, making sure that his fingers graze my skin the whole way.

Once he tosses my shirt to the sand, and looks at me. It was the first time that I actually had a moment to think. My head had been so clouded with lust before that I didn't put any thought into what we were doing.

I became very aware of the fact that I was shirtless, straddling an equally shirtless Jake in the sand of a very public beach.

A feeling of vulnerability began to creep over me, as I realized how exposed I was to Jake.

It wasn't the shirtless part that scared me, because Jake had already seen me shirtless countless times- no, it was how much I wanted this.

I had wanted more then just passionate making out, I wanted skin on skin, I wanted to feel all of him on me, in me, whatever- I wanted everything Jake could give me.

He must have noticed my shift in mood, because he leaned in, placed his hands on either side of my face, and gently pressed his lips to mine.

When our lips parted, he didn't pull away, but kept his forehead to mine.

It was sweet and I was beginning to think that _maybe there is something between us_.

Then he pulls his head back and looks into my eyes. I brace myself, thinking that he is about to tell me something life changing, like, that he loves me or that he has wanted to be with me since the day we met.

I take a deep breath in anticipation, quickly trying to formulate a response.

"I think we need to cool off"

I look at him, slightly confused. My mind begins to race, as I try to decipher what he means- _does he mean this was a mistake? Is he regretting we just did this?_

Suddenly he bursts into a huge smile and before I know how to react he has picked me up and thrown me over his shoulder.

He starts running towards the water and I have no time to fight back before we are swallowed up by a wave.

I come to the surface, gasping for air.

"What the fuck?!" I scream.

All I hear is the roar of his laughter, as he starts to splash me with the ice cold water.

"I am going to fucking kill you!" I scream back at him, as I swim over and dunk him under the surface.

He comes back to the surface laughing, "You love it."

"Oh yeah, yeah?" is all I can reply when I realize how close our bodies are to each other.

I bounce up and down as my feet push off the ocean floor. I realize that he is tall enough to stand where we are, so I give in, and wrap my arms around his neck for stability.

"You feeling better?" He asks me, while his hands run down my back, encircle my waist, and slowly move down to my ass. I feel him lift me up and wrap my legs around his waist.

"Sure," I say, enjoying the feeling of our skin rubbing against each other a bit too much.

Without thinking, I lean in closer to his face and place my lips to his. This time, I am the one to run my tongue across his lips, tasting the saltwater on his lips.

I hungrily drink him in, as our kiss deepens, and I start to feel our bodies heat up again. His grip on my ass tightens as he brings me closer into him.

I love the feeling of him rubbing against my center, and I can feel my legs begin to tingle with excitement as they tighten around his waist.

A wave comes across us as he falters against the current and our mouths break apart.

He lets me down slowly, and we both begin to laugh.

"Maybe that's a sign," I say to him with a smile.

He smiles, interlaces his hand in mine, and leads us back to shore.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been about a week since that night on the beach. So much time had passed between now and the 'incident' that I had to spend a solid two hours reassuring myself that it wasn't just a vivid dream.

To be fair, it was a pretty crazy night. Jake and I had never done anything like that before.

After we walked up the beach, we put our shirts back on and decided to head home. We didn't really have much to talk about, so we were both pretty silent on the walk back to our cars.

By that point, neither of us had talked for a while, so kissing each other goodbye seemed ridiculous, so we forced an awkward hug, jumped in our cars, and drove away.

Regardless of what happened, this radio silence was killing me. I was beginning to doubt myself in every way possible, and not just about the plausibility of the 'incident' even taking place.

I was starting to think maybe I had the whole thing wrong- maybe, what I had felt between us was one-sided, and in reality, Jake was avoiding me because he thinks I attacked him.

I was a mess.

I was a mess and I didn't know what to do about it- I needed to see him, but I didn't want to make the first move.

I just know that as soon as I see him, I will know how he feels, and maybe I could finally put this behind me _or under me_.

_God what is happening to me, I have morphed into a horny teenage boy. _

Suddenly, my memory flashed back to Jake's hands gripping into my ass as I straddled him in the sand.

I remember my hand running across his chest and down his abs. I feel a rush of butterflies shoot to my abdomen, at the memory of him between my thighs.

"Knock Knock," someone says, and I am quickly pulled away from my daydream starring a very naked Jake and yours truly.

"Are you really thinking of wearing that? Sophia says as she crinkles her nose at the dress I was holding in my clenched fists.

I looked down and realized that I was holding on to my junior year prom dress.

_I don't even remember picking this out._

"Hell no, I...I was just checking to make sure I can still fit into it!" I say with a nervous laugh and shove it back into my closet.

"So what's up Soph?" I say to her as I search my closet for a more realistic dress choice.

She flopped down on my bed, looking annoyed, "I am already sick of these graduation parties and we haven't even graduated yet,"

I roll my eyes as I look at myself in the reflection, trying to decide which dress to wear.

"Pick the blue one, it looks good with your eyes"

"Fine," I say as I shrug and throw the blue dress on my bed and start to get changed.

"Have you talked to Jake?" she asks while flipping through a magazine she found on my floor.

"NO!...I mean no, I haven't, why?"

She looks up at me quizzically and I spin away to face the mirror.

"I just wanted to know if he was going to the party. I haven't seen or talked to him in like a week. Do you know what he's been doing?"

"I have no clue." I reply, a little too bitterly.

"Did you guys have a fight or something? You are acting really weird"

"What? No, we didn't have a fight. We're fine."

"Then why are you acting like me asking you if you talked to Jake is such a crazy idea?"

I turn towards her, and say as earnestly as possible, "I'm not acting weird. There's nothing wrong. I just haven't talked to Jake, that's all,"

She squints her eyes for a second, then shrugs and goes back to flipping through her magazine.

"I'll text him to see if he's going to the party then. Oh, I almost forgot, you need to stay with me at all times during this thing. Aiden and I have been fighting non-stop recently and I really need a buffer."

I roll my eyes at Sophia, because we both knew that her and Aiden's relationship was based on fighting and making up- there was never an in-between.

"Sure, I'll stick to you like glue. Even though we both know you two will be all over each other by the end of the night," I say with a smirk.

She chucks a pillow in my direction and I dodge it, laughing at her reaction, "Hey, it's not my relationship- I'm just telling you that I am noticing a pattern here,"

"Shut up!"

I just shake my head at her, laughing at how angry she is getting over this.

_It must be because she knows it's true. _

"UGHH! I don't want to talk about Aiden anymore," she says in an exasperated tone.

"Good, neither do I, you tend to go into great detail,"

"Hey!" she says, while picking up another pillow and threatening to throw it in my direction.

She puts it down and continues, "But let's talk about boys, is there anyone that you kind of like? I mean, it is our senior year,"

"Not really," I reply quietly, hoping that she'll lose interest and change the subject.

"Oh come on! There are tons of guys who are just as hot, maybe even hotter then Max in our grade. I think the time of mourning Max has passed, it's time to move on. Besides, you told me you didn't really like him anyways,"

I nod my head and turn back towards the mirror to put on some makeup.

"Well, if you're not going to tackle this challenge, I will."

"No Sophia, really, you don't have to- you know I hate it when you try to play matchmaker,"

But she just ignores my plea and opens up my laptop instead.

"Time for a good ol' fashioned Facebook hunt,"

"Jesus," I murmur as I shake my head.

I finally finish getting ready, Sophia's compiled a list of 3 names, and we head out to go to Jimmy's pre-school year/ senior year party.

As Sophia and I head into the party, a rush of nerves washes over me as the reality of having to see Jake tonight, finally hits me.

I will finally get my answer as to what happened between us.

_It's what you want stupid- you need to know if you should move on or not. _

At that same moment, I also realized that I would probably have to see Max for the first time since we broke up.

I have never been good about dealing with my exes- and dealing with someone who dumped you is definitely unchartered territory for me.

I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and I nervously run my hand through my hair.

_Well at least you look good. _

I was lost in my own thoughts when I feel someone nudge my arm, "Hey! What's up with you today? You are so spacey!" Sophia yells to me over the music.

"Sorry! I know, just thinking, I'm kind of nervous to see Max tonight," I say back to her.

_Well, I wasn't lying…_

I spot a cooler in the kitchen and we start to make our way through the party. Finally reaching the kitchen, I reach my hand into the freezing ice and water mixture to pull out two cans of Bud Light.

"Don't worry about it Bells, you look hot, plus he's the one who dumped you! You have nothing to be nervous about, you did nothing wrong! I'll be with you the whole time, you have nothing to fear," she says reassuringly.

"Thanks Soph," I say back to her, forcing a smile.

I take a sip from my beer and look around the party.

My mind flashes back Jake.

The feeling of his soft lips against mine, the way we grasped hold of each other, holding on to fists full of clothing.

I could smell him on my clothes the next day- warm, like cinnamon, with a mix of something fresh like clean clothes that have been hung out to dry.

I take another sip of beer as I see a bunch of our friends crowded around the pool and I lean over to Sophia and say, "Hey, there's Matt and Lauren, let's go over there,"

"Sure," Sophia replies, I catch her eyes scan over the crowd. I know she is looking for Aiden.

She likes to pretend like she doesn't care, but I know she does, I mean everyone knows they're both crazy about each other. _Crazy being the key word._

As we approach Lauren and Matt, we catch the end of their conversation, "But babe, don't think about it, we still have the whole year, plus the summer before we even have to worry about it,"

Realizing that maybe this wasn't the best time to come over to them, I'm about to grab Sophia and head in another direction when she yells over to them, "Hey guys!"

They both look up, and I watch as their stressed expressions dissolve, only to be replaced by forced cheery smiles.

"Hey you two, what's up?" Lauren replies, quickly glancing over at Matt, as if to make sure that he is feigning the same level of happiness as her.

"Another party, another day," Sophia replies.

"Oh I know, and we haven't even started our senior year yet," Lauren mutters, as her eyes quickly dart over to Matt.

"Well I guess any party is better then no party," Matt replies, as he looks over at Lauren trying to get a smile out of her.

I feel a pang of sympathy for him, as I know he's just trying to lighten up the mood.

"Let's drink to that!" I say to everyone, as we all raise our beers and take a long sip.

"Has anyone seen Jake?" Sophia asks the group, as she looks around the patio.

_Oh God, here we go again…._

The last thing I want to do is talk about Jake, let alone go hunt him down at a party. I decide my best bet is to just runaway, so I chug my beer, and make an excuse to leave.

"I'm going to go grab another, does anyone need a new beer?" I say, looking at everyone.

"I do!" Sophia replies.

"I'll be right back," I say to everyone as I head back inside to grab to two more beers and stall for time.

As I walk into the house, I try to push through the crowded living room to get to the kitchen.

When I finally get to the kitchen, I see that a makeshift line has formed around the beer.

"Forget this", I mutter to myself, as I get off the line, and decide try my luck with the fridge in the basement.

I walk down the hallway when I feel someone's arm wrap around my waist and pull me through the bathroom door.

At first, I try to peel the arm off me, when the door closes and I am spun around to find myself face to face with Jake.

He immediately pushes me against the closed bathroom door and hungrily crashes his lips against mine.

His tongue enters my mouth and I let out a soft moan at the feeling.

He places his hands on either side of my face, trying to pull me closer into him.

Our mouths come apart as he bends his knees and picks me up. I straddle his waist as he sits me down on top of the bathroom sink.

I feel him grind himself into me as we grasp at each other. The passion between us takes my breath away and I get swept up in how good it feels to have him devour me.

He pushes my dress straps off my shoulder, and begins to suck in the sensitive skin along my collarbone, sucking the skin between his teeth, and I feel the pressure begin to build between my thighs.

I drag my hands down his shirt and grasp at the hem. I yank his shirt up over his head and throw it on the floor.

I involuntarily lick my lips as I look at his bare chest- hoping that he hadn't noticed, I bring his mouth back down on mine and tangle my hands in his hair.

His hands dig into my hips as my legs tighten their hold around his waist and I lean back against the bathroom mirror.

Our tongues continue to dance around each other, as I pull his bottom lip into my mouth and lightly bite down with my teeth.

I can feel him wanting more and my breath hitches as he pushes my dress down to my waist and his hands move to cup my breasts.

He notices my hesitation, as he looks into my eyes, and says, "Is this too much?"

This is the first time that either of us has spoken, and a rush of questions flash across my mind.

_Where have you been? Why haven't we spoken since the beach? What are we doing? What does this mean?_

I mean these are all valid questions that need answers, believe me, I get it!

But, as I look at him, all I can think is how amazing he looks with messy hair, and how sexy he is when he licks his lips.

I know that if I started to ask these questions (_very important questions_) that it would kill the mood and for many, many selfish reasons, _I did not want to kill the mood._

So, I listen to my raging hormones and shake my head 'no'.

I feel the heat rush to my cheeks, as I realize just how badly I don't want him to stop.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?" he whispers in my ear, and the feeling of his breath against my ear runs shivers down my spine.

He lightly places his lips to mine and kisses me, softly this time.

One of his hands travels up my side, lightly tracing every contour, until he reaches the curve just below my breast.

Cupping my breast in his hand, he slowly rubs his thumb across the fabric of my bra. His touch only teases me, as he mirrors his actions on the other side.

I bite down on my bottom lip as the sensation sends chills across my skin, and I begin to arch my back, giving in to the feeling of his touch on my breasts.

I feel my hands grasp around the edges of the sink as I look at him with clouded eyes.

His eyes meet mine, and a smile breaks across his lips. Suddenly, I can't take it anymore and I pull him into me, my hands digging into his skin as I try to pour the passion that is radiating off of me back into him with my kiss.

I feel his hands travel down to my hips and he begins to push the fabric of my dress up my thighs.

The feeling of having less clothing between us excites me, and I can feel my center pulse, as he purposefully brushes his arousal against me.

My curiosity gets the better of me, as I move my hands down his chest and I start to undo the top button of his jeans, when there is a pounding on the bathroom door.

"Bella? Are you in there?"

We both recognize Sophia's voice and we push away from each other immediately.

_If Sophia walked in right now, she would have a heart attack_.

I look over at Jake- half naked, panting, and obviously aroused.

_Yep, there's no way of talking my way out of this…_

I motion for him to be quiet, then I take a few breaths, and reply, "Yeah it's me! My mom called, I'm just talking to her- it was too loud out there. I'll be out in a minute!"

Trying by best not to sound suspicious.

"Fine, just hurry the fuck up! You told me you would be my buffer tonight!"

Jake gives me a quizzical look, and I just smirk and roll my eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry Soph, I'll be out soon- promise!"

I turn back to look at Jake and I catch him staring at my breasts.

I smile and whisper, "We should probably go back out there,"

I start to pull my dress back up over my bra, and smooth out the wrinkles in my dress.

"Or we could stay in here all night, and Sophia can go buffer herself,"

He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist pulling me into his chest.

I inhale his smell and revel in the feeling of his bare skin against mine.

I look up at him and say, "I don't think that's going to work, eventually someone is going to have to use the bathroom, plus Sophia is not going to give up, you know that,"

"Yea, you're right," he winks at me, lets my go, and bends over to pick up his shirt form the floor.

While I watch him pull his shirt down, a wave of sadness rushes across me.

_He's too beautiful to be covered in clothing…GET A GRIP BELLA!_

I shake my head, remembering that we still haven't talked about any of this.

I look at him and say, "Jake?"

"Mhmm?"

"Should we talk about this? About what just happened?"

"What do you think just happened?"

"That's not fair, you can't answer my question with another question,"

He let's out a quick laugh, and leans down to pick up the soap dispenser and toothbrushes that we had knocked over while groping each other no less then 5 minutes ago.

He puts everything back, and then he rubs his hand across his jaw, scratching at the stubble that was quickly turning into a beard.

I stand there waiting patiently, hoping he will reply before Sophia comes back and knocks down the bathroom door.

He puts his hands on his hips, and he looks at me, "Look, I don't know what this is- it can be whatever you want it to be, or it could just be us. I think you and I both know that we're not ready for this to be anything real. All I do know is that it feels really fucking good."

I say nothing, and I can see panic spread across his face as he takes a step closer to me and says, "I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear or if you're pissed, I'm just trying to be honest with you, because you're my best friend, and I don't want to lose you…I mean this is all new for me."

I decide to let him worry a little bit longer, just enjoying watching him squirm under my gaze.

I wait a few more seconds, and then I slowly start to smile back at him.

"That's exactly how I feel, I don't want this to be a big thing, we're just having fun, right?" I reply, as I take a step closer to him and reach up to place a light kiss on his lips.

"Yes, we're definitely having fun," he replies, and I see a flash of relief wash over his face.

I playfully smack his arm, "Now how are we going to get out here without looking too obvious?" I say to him as I turn to look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

I try my best to make it look as though I haven't been locked in a bathroom making out for the past half hour.

It's hopeless though, my lips are swollen, my cheeks are flushed, my hair is a tangled mess, and my chin is raw from Jake's stubble rubbing against my face.

I am too busy trying to figure out how to make myself look presentable to notice that Jake was now standing right behind me.

I feel him press himself against my ass as his hands reach down and grip either side of the sink. I push back against him, as he lowers his head and smells my hair.

I arch my neck on to his shoulder as I feel him lightly grazing my neck with the bridge of his nose.

"We have to go Jake, Sophia is going to kill me," I whisper.

"Fine," he replies, I can feel his hot breath against my neck, and goosebumps spread across my skin.

He moves away from me and I give myself one last look in the mirror before turning to face him.

"OK, here's the plan- I sneak out now, then you count to 100 before leaving too. Sound good?"

"Sure, I have to pee anyways," he says to me as he walks over to the toilet and starts to unbutton his jeans.

"You're such a guy."

"Are you saying you'd rather have me be a girl?" he replies smiling at me, as I roll my eyes and turn the knob to leave.

I step out the bathroom door, quickly slamming it shut behind me. Immediately, aware of how crowded this party has gotten within the last half hour.

_This was a terrible idea. _

I stand my tiptoes as I try to look for Sophia, while making my way towards the backyard.

I finally make it through the crowd to find Sophia talking to Aiden in the corner of the backyard.

_So much for being a buffer, I am the worst friend ever. _

I rush over to them prepared to commit some serious cock blocking, when all of a sudden Sophia leaps into Aiden's arms and plants a kiss on his lips.

Aiden happily reciprocates and they begin passionately making out, falling backwards onto a patio lawn chair.

At this point, I am not sure how to react, should I interrupt them? Should I stop this?

I am painfully aware of how awkward I look, as I try to figure out what to do next.

"Well we can do a lot better then that," I hear Jake say from behind me.

A smile spreads across my lips as I turn around to find him holding two beers. He tosses me a beer, and we both cheers before taking a sip.

We stand there in silence, as we watch the crowds pour in and out of our friend's house.

He turns to me and says, "Wanna play a game of pong?"

"Sure," I reply simply, taking another sip of beer. I let my hand hang loosely at my side, and I feel Jake lightly brush his hand against mine.

It was so light at first that I thought it was an accident, but he brushes his hand against mine again, this time allowing his fingers to run across each one of mine.

We stand there, silently, playing with the feeling of each other's touch. Our moment of peace was short lived though, as we were quickly interrupted by the sounds of Sophia and Aiden making up.

We both immediately burst out laughing.

"Let's get away from here, before something scarring happens," Jake says while scrunching up his nose in disgust.

"Yes, now, let's go"

We both laugh, as Jake lazily throws an arm around my shoulder and we head back towards the house.


End file.
